Archive | January, 2017

Coincidence or Truth?

20 Jan

Which sounds deeper than it is, it’s not. It’s a bit of a realisation I’ve come to and one I intend to believe is not true and just a coincidence because I am sick and tired of feeling like a piece of shit.

I’m not quite sure how to stop it I just know that it seems to be a pattern among the people I’m friends with…let me explain.

Every time I become good friends with someone, it’s good for a while then they start spreading our inside jokes to other people, get closer to them aaaaaand I’m alone again. Great.

It’s happened almost every single time and is why I’ve given up trying to even make friends because why bother. My “I don’t care” sense of living partly stems from the fact that the people who used to be friends with me just don’t care anymore and the cycle repeats…which I should be used to by now but obviously it’s not the case and I can’t really talk about this with anyone so here’s my vent.

I understand the concept of moving on but there’s moving on and then there’s completely isolating me and ignoring me like I’ve got some sort of invisible cloak…and people ask why I’d rather be alone…because I don’t get hurt. It’s when I’ve actually got other people and then get completely left out that hurts the most. I understand why it happensĀ sometimes but I’ve never really been one for people involving me in things so when they do it’s a surprise…which contradicts what I just said but this goes back to the point that I should be used to it by now but I’m not because as much as I’d like to think I’m a robot, I’m not. I have feelings ok. I. HAVE. FEELINGS.

Alright there’s my vent, I’ve been holding this in for a while now…sorry.

-H