On Stress

27 Nov

I’m stressed and like many human beings I tend to take a turn for the worst…especially since I’ve been kindof depressed and I don’t really have control over it(?) 

What I love most is that this is what pushes people away, they hate me kinda and I don’t really care because they were never really there for me anyways so why start now right? 🙂

Oh and of course because I’m taking a class that’s internally and externally hurting me, I can’t stay positive towards it…and the professor isn’t that great either. 

Internal: I’m depressed and the class creates the kind of stress I need therapy for, also I really just don’t like this class.

External: The camera bag, the laptop to edit shit AND the tripod have actually injured my shoulders and back a few times and the last thing I need is an injury that prevents me from carrying shit for a while. 

I just need a break. A real break. A real break from uni “friends” (meh) and everything related to uni because I hate everything now and I don’t think that’s healthy…

On a scale of 1-10 how happy I am to leave uni for the winter holidays? 15. That’s actually slightly less than the 17/10 when the summer holidays began.

Just remember I am human, I’m having a hard time and the true test of friendship is at risk and they’ve failed so “friends” is gonna remain in quotes. I’m not gonna pretend to be ok, I don’t have the energy for it so take me or leave me I’m not changing for anybody. I love how the people who are asking me to be less negative are also the ones who’ve never properly cared about anything related to me and who don’t really wanna hear my stories or anything anyways so what’s the deal with that? I dunno honestly but all I can say is it’s all pure bullshit and I love* every single minute of it.  

-T

*despise 

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