On Twitter and my lack of confidence

21 Nov

because that is my life now apparently…

I just wanted to put it out there because I dunno what else I can do to let it out so here it goes…

I’m really shy, like really really shy  but also not really…like I get anxiety and “oh god they probably think I’m annoying now yup ok I am forever annoying it’s ok who needs friends or Internet “friends” (because they can be real but also I dunno if anyone is real with me so I’m gonna continue putting that in quotes) anyways right… RIGHT”…and I also get a mini anxiety attack because of it so I can’t @ mention or tag someone unless they tweeted first…I also can’t do the direct message thing…unless it’s an emergency or they message me first…see if they message me first that means they don’t think I’m annoying or that they wanna chat but I honestly don’t know if anyone genuinely does think I’m annoying or hate me or anything, maybe they’re just following me because they’ve done it so long they don’t want it to get awkward so they just I dunno… mute me? Do they? I have no idea…and I don’t think I want to know. I also wouldn’t blame them for it because I can be an annoying piece of shit so it makes sense…

Ok so bottom line: sorry if you wanted me to @ mention you or DM you but I didn’t and I can’t and if u genuinely want it (I dunno why, I’m a pretty dull person, genuinely don’t know why you would) but if you do then you message me because clearly I can’t do it, nor do I have anything interesting to say, if you wanted just to say hi or howz it going or something than I really can’t do that because thinking about it gives me anxiety and I might cry so I’m sorry but I’d rather not have my brain think I’m the most annoying person on earth. 

Also because I’m on Twitter all the time, I can see that people are busy or studying or partying so the last thing I want to do is bother them…people have lives you know…lives outside of the Internet. 

– T

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