On Cringe and My little secret (but not really) 

22 Sep

It’s like what I imagine heartburn to be but more stomachey like my heart and stomach go “ughhhhh” and then it’s like it all folds itself in…this is what happens when I cringe, get uncomfortable or when someone is hurt and I dunno how to help or what to say…it’s all weird, I know but I don’t do it on purpose or anything it just happens, like I don’t ask myself to cringe or whatever it just happens ok! 
I’ve started to cringe a lot less now, it’s not as apparent or as present as it used to be and I guess that’s just about exposure maybe? I’m not sure, but I’m just glad I cringe less cuz I hate this feeling in my stomach and body in general, it feels weird and I don’t recommend it. It feels like when you’re super hungry but didn’t realise how hungry you were…? Yeah. 

So there are somethings that obviously make me uncomfortable I mean DUH but I’m actually pretty ok with most of it, like it’s pretty difficult to make me uncomfortable, there are two things I can’t watch, horror and super romance, I can’t stand that mush or that nightmarish situation…but other than that I am surprisingly ok with almost everything else. 

In other words…Cringe is 1 less problem I have to worry about AND I don’t want people to worry/convince me to watch or do something cuz like I said I’m pretty ok with a lot of shit so it’s not gonna take a lot of convincing. 

(My lil secret is (this ones not really a secret) the innocence/childlike thing is how I am in real life and stuff but it’s become such a part of me I feel like I have to play the role now…I dunno how to do anything else, I’ve been playing this role for so long and yeah it is a part of me but I’m also an old person and I like to take a risk…the risk taking thing is the thing I don’t necessarily admit but there, you happy now!) 🙂

– T


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