Archive | February, 2015

On People and Reliance.

20 Feb

Almost everybody has someone in their lives that they can rely on, and someone that relies on them.

The thing about this that annoys me is that they have lots of expectations from you. Whether it’s to help them or whether it’s about your own life choices. Why do people feel the need to govern other people’s lives?

Governing the lives of people around you isn’t your job, it’s their job, unless they’re children or people who are unable to take care of themselves, then and ONLY then are you responsible. You have a life of your own, you can barely take care of yourself, let alone other people.

Giving advice is different, but when people expect you to help them when you’ve already got a full plate of mashed potatoes in front of you you can’t just add pancakes, a pineapple and a birthday cake with all of that (metaphorically). You’ve already got your plate of mashed potatoes and are determined to finish it, but you can’t if you’ve got a ton of other stuff to do. In other words stop filling your table with bits of unfinished things and only put what you can do on your table. Of course challenges are different.

If you want to challenge yourself, sure go ahead, I encourage it! But you have to commit to the challenge, you have to be up to it in order to actually do it.

It’s your life not theirs, stand up for yourself, if you’ve got too much on your plate just say so! Most of the time people will understand, but if they don’t then take a deep breath and always speak calmly, explain your situation to the person and they’ll more likely to understand you in a calm manner, not anger, anger isn’t the solution and doesn’t work as well as you might think, meaning it will not work as well as calmness will.

Good luck,
H

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