Archive | August, 2014


14 Aug

Apologising is hard. If people think saying “I Love You” is the hardest thing… They’ve never genuinely apologised to someone they unintentionally hurt. Believe me. “I Love You” is easy as pie compared to apologising and feel satisfied that you have apologised.

When I’ve apologised the event stays with me long after they’ve forgiven me. I’m still recovering from my 2012 apology let alone the ones in recent days.

More on this subject later but this is truly a difficult subject to talk about… I could write 12 volumes and that still wouldn’t be enough.


Change is Scary.

9 Aug

Some people have no problem with change, in fact they change their stuff around and replace things with the snap of their fingers.

Me? I’m afraid of change. I’m not a hoarder but it’s difficult giving stuff away or throwing it out because even if I’ve never used it before it somehow has some sort of sentimental value to it that makes it difficult to let go.

It could be something as simple as a Hannah Montana CD that you’ve wanted to throw out years ago but it’s sentimental value seems far greater than throwing it away because the person who gave it to you was your best friend in the 6th grade but later on ditched you in the 10th grade. Meaning you were friends for life (before having a cell phone was a thing)… Or so you thought, and holding on to that CD reminds you of that friend.
This particular example was made up, I would know because I do own a Hannah Montana CD but I bought it myself… I kept it in case someone asks me what I used to Listen to in the 5th grade… Lame but true.

So back to sentimental value… Some people don’t care about sentimentality because it means nothing to them… Which is in some ways good to have some of that in your system but I don’t think that I would want to be one of those people who is unsentimental about everything but I also don’t want to have this sense of sentimentality towards everything… It may be a “small world” sometimes but to me this world is beyond huge…

This thing that I have with being afraid of change applies to a lot of people, if you are one of those people I would like to suggest this one thing:

Sometimes change is unavoidable and is without a doubt inevitable. But if crying helps to get through it then cry, let out your feelings and if people have an issue with it the let them out in private, but the most helpful advice that I can give is that you must change something (or more than just one thing) to break your fear of change. It helps heal… Try it out.

– H